NBA Saturday Night- In a Dunk Funk

After Vinsanity left us all speechless at the 2000 NBA Slam Dunk Contest with his array of gravity defying jams, the event went into a complete lull for the next half of a decade. Honestly, does anyone remember what Desmond Mason, Fred Jones or Josh Smith did to win this thing? The terribleness of the event culminated in 2006 when Nate Robinson was awarded with his first title because he's shorter than me. The fact that it took him 17 tries to finish his final dunk should have gotten him fives across the board, but instead he won and I continued to hate the contest.

It was in 2007 when the competition was revitalized as Dwight Howard made his first appearance and Gerald Green took home the crown. Howard may try to be funnier than he is at times, but his ability to use creativity at this event is never frowned upon by me. From his putting a sticker at the top of the backboard while throwing it down to Green dawning Dee Brown's jersey while covering his face on a dunk, it was all gold. Green won the title with a windmill while jumping over a table. Yes my friends, we were back.

The next season was when Dwight and the Dunk Contest came into its own. He started off by throwing one off the back of the backboard, catching it behind the glass and throwing down a windmill with the left hand. Something so athletic we had not seen since his current teammate VC back in Y2K. Defending champion Green fought back with his most creative attempt to date as he blew out the candle on a cupcake that sat on top of the rim, while stuffing one home. Green, I might add, had plenty of other dunks in 2008 that would have gone for 50 against this year's challengers. But it was Dwight taking the whole thing to another level as he put on the Superman shirt and cape and dunked it (honestly it didn't matter what dunk he did at that point). When he alley-ooped it to himself, tapped it off the backboard with his left and dunked it with his right, he capped off a night of pure entertainment that we had not scene at NBA All-Star weekend since Vince's craziness back in 2000.

Last year, although in no way could have matched 2008, was quite another fantastic night as Dwight and Nate Robinson had plenty of gimmicks up their sleeves (even though they left the incredible dunks at home). Between Dwight getting changed into his cape in a phone booth and bringing in an 11 foot hoop, to Nate changing into his green uniform as he became Kripto-Nate it was again a great contest with plenty to get excited about.

That brings us to last night's debacle of an event. I don't even know where to start with what we were given by these idiots. Reggie Miller was actually telling the truth when he kept saying that these were the dunks that the dudes sitting around the Calabasas YMCA would throw down. It was so boring that it actually became interesting. How bad were they going to be? Were they really not going to use any props or gimmicks? Did no one think of a new dunk this year? The longer it went on, the funnier it got that this was actually the NBA Slam Dunk Contest. The announcers really shined during this moment as they grabbed on to the sentiment of every single person watching and made fun of how bad the dunkers were doing. So Nate Robinson wins his third title when one of his two final dunks was a regular two handed jam?!? You guys are joking right?!?

Unless they want this thing to turn back into what it was in the early 2000s they need to find guys like Dwight that are going to keep it interesting. I'm not saying Dwight has to keep coming back. He's done it three times and gave us more than we could have asked for. But come on fellas. I know the creative dudes are out there. Just come out next year and give us another show. If I don't deserve that than all is wrong in the world. After all, I do watch the NBA All-Star weekend and the NBA Playoffs, but no regular season games. I am a devoted fan.

Other Thoughts On NBA Saturday

-The best of Saturday's festivities was definitely the announcing crew- Kenny, Chuck and Reggie were absolutely on their game.

-Three-point Shootout is easily the most bland aspect of the day (probably because I know I coulda beat half of those dudes back in my prime).

-Shooting Stars competition is sufficient because you always like to see dudes hit half-court shots.

-Then we get to HORSE. An event that could be fantastic, but in these last two years has been terrible. The major problem is in picking your contestants. If Kevin Durant and Rajon Rondo aren't two of the least personable dudes in the NBA I would be shocked. Rondo seems to have as much personality as a door knob. Chris Webber is screaming out Rondoooooooooo for 30 seconds and you don't crack a smile, or even a death stare? Are you a robot?

Okay so you aren't going to get good talking, charismatic guys, then stop talking and let them take more shots. Stop showing replays and analyzing their next moves. Just heave up the crazy shots. That leads us to our next problem. None of these dudes do fancy shots on the regular? You are professional basketball players. You're in the gym all the time. I've seen dudes do crazy shots on youtube all the time. Figure it out.

I honestly had much more fun watching my boss play against CCSU's Ken Horton in a game of HORSE Saturday morning than I did watching these three jokers. Not only did the Durantula not have any crazy shots, but he embraced the fact. He said his plan was to win with regular shots. No one wants to see that KD!