The Kellie Pickler Award- Female Reality Contestant

Named For: Kellie Pickler, finalist on American Idol Season Five
Awarded To: The best female reality competition contestant from
June 1, 2009 - May 31, 2010
Last Year's Winner: Sugar Kiper- Survivor

Place. Contestant (Show) Points (My Vote)

10. Laura Crosby (Big Brother) 2 points

9. Sandra Diaz-Twine (Survivor) 2 points

8. Joanna Krupa (Superstars) 2 points

7. Crystal Bowersox (American Idol) 7 points

6. Amanda Kimmel (Survivor) 7 points (4th)

5. Caite Upton (Amazing Race) 11 points (2nd)

4. Susan Feniger (Top Chef) 13 points

3. Didi Benami (American Idol) 15 points (5th)

Runner-Up
2. Jordan Lloyd (Big Brother/Amazing Race) 15 points (3rd)

and the Poolie goes to...
1. Parvati Shallow (Survivor)
27 points (1st)

Here with his thoughts on Parvati Shallow is Poolie voter Tyson...

It’s rare that someone I voted for ends up winning one of these awards, so I will give you the four reasons she got my vote, which, I assume, are the same five reasons she got other’s votes:

1. I am a huge fan of people who use physical attractiveness to get what they want and Parvati managed to bewitch several of last season’s males. Everyone kept saying that Russell had fallen under Parvati’s spell and really who can blame him. She’s definitely island hot, not sure about real world hot, but island hot…definitely. Note: If I were ever to go on survivor I would require all female alliances to spend one night of naked cuddling with me…let’s see where your loyalties really lie.

2. Her name is spelled Parvati but is pronounced poverty. The “r” has cast off all pronunciation rules and decided to make its presence felt right before the “ti”. Parvati has a rogue “r” and that definitely does not grind my gears.

3. During the challenge where survivors had to hold their arms straight out in order to push two cylinders against some wood, several of the female challengers were sporting enough armpit hair to make 12 year old boys everywhere green with envy. But, when the camera panned to Parvati…smooth as a Siamese cat.

4. She used to box while in college. Punching people in the face is cool and if you don’t think so then I’ve got a fresh knuckle sandwich with your name on it.

by Tyson Brazell

if you would like to hear Tyson's fifth reason for voting for Parvati feel free to ask him for it as it is too inappropriate for the Pool.

Survivor Finale- That's The Way The Game Is Played

Tom Westman- "Whoever wins a season, deserves to win that season."

And that quote, in the end, is what makes the game of Survivor so good. There is probably no perfect way to play the game, and if there is it uses a lot of luck. I was pretty mad when Russell didn't win last season in Samoa. This year, not only did I begin to hate him as a player, but it became more and more evident that his style of play just isn't suited to win Survivor.

No matter how many times he states that he's the best player, or he should have won the game, or Parvati should have won over Sandra, it's not going to change the fact that Survivor doesn't work that way. As Tom so elegantly said, "whoever wins a season, deserves to win that season." Whether it is more luck or more planning, if you make it to the end and get the most votes from the jury, you played the best game that time around.

So how'd we get to the point where Sandra became the first ever two-time Survivor winner? Well let's start with the first immunity challenge of the episode where Colby finally came alive. It took him 37 days, but he finally started trying, both athletically and strategically. He barely lost to Parvati in the plates and bowls challenge and then decided to play the game for the first time in over a month. He claimed "I don't know how to quit. It's not in me," even though we've all witnessed him quitting this entire season. He finally made a move in trying to convince Russell to get rid of Sandra and keep him. A valiant effort, but an unsuccessful one as he went home that night.

Before the final immunity challenge, the final four went on the famous journey of fallen survivors. Although the contestants never have anything of substance to say about their comrades when they get to their stick, this is always a nice moment to relive all of the contestants in that given season.

The last challenge was a great one. A blindfolded maze which got me all nerved up as Parvati, Jerri and Russell all wondered towards the finish line at the same time. I was very surprised to see Russ grab the necklace first. Back during the Samoa Finale everyone said that Russell was so sad and emotional about losing because he had already filmed Heroes vs. Villains and had gotten out early enough to know he wasn't winning. Of course it ended up being that he was in the final three, but knew he had absolutely no chance of winning it.

When we get to the final elimination, I was absolutely thinking Parvati was going home. It was a great editing trick by them, because I usually can figure out who is going home before the vote. During the tribal council, we see that Russell is completely oblivious to what is actually going on in the game, because he thinks he "protected Parvati" and not the other way around. As Parvati so nicely put it, they "protected each other."

Anyway. Jerri went home. It's so hard to figure out who would vote for who if someone else was in the final three, but I think Parvati would have won if it were Russell, Parv and Jerri.

It's always interesting when we get to final council. This was the first time in four seasons that we had three players that all were strategic players and could easily make great cases for themselves. Parvati had the best opening statement by a mile and that wasn't even that great. "Russell was the dragon," she said. "And instead of slaying him, I kept him...as my pet." Just an epic line. Russell, for how great and long of a speech he made last season, it seemed like he didn't say a word this time around. He never even claimed that he had control of Parvati the entire time. Maybe because he knew how dumb that would be, given that she ruled this game. Sandra didn't make many good points either.

And in the end, Russell got shut out. Parvati got three votes, and Sandra got six for the win. Obviously Russell dominated the reunion show with many complaints about losing. Last season I was with him, and this year I wanted to slap him in the face. How dumb is this guy? Even when everyone on the stage is trying to explain it to him, he still keeps coming back to "I play as hard as I can." I know it's cliched, but it's not playing hard, but playing smart that's gets it done. Going all out with manipulation is a decent way to make it to the final three, but as we've seen, it's not a good way to win the game. To paraphrase Boston Rob, Russell doesn't play this game to win. I really don't think that is Russell's mindset, but it is absolutely the reality of it.

Russell thinks America needs a percent of the vote, but Probst shoots him down with the fact that Survivor is not that. Survivor is what it is. And if you're able to win the game of Survivor, you deserve to win Survivor. It doesn't matter if America likes that way you're playing or not. On a related note, how did this idiot win America's Player of the Season Award? I was one of the biggest Russell fans in Samoa, but I couldn't have disliked him more this season. He was just a complete idiot that was becoming played out because he did the same things over and over again. My favorites of the season were Boston Rob and Coach, but I think Parvati played the best overall game of the season. And Rupert was second in the voting? What a joke. This guy was the absolute worst.

Congratulations to Sandra for becoming the first person to win Survivor twice. I don't know if that makes her the best player ever, but it certainly could be. She definitely played a good game this time around. She was hindered by the fact that she was on the outs for most of the way, but she benefited from the fact that no one thought much about her. Always a bit of luck that comes from playing that type of game. But when you get to the end like that, you have a good chance at winning. And she is now two for two.

Fantasy Results

Punch Face Champions

Russell (Villains)- W15 (106), W16 (121), Immunity (20)= 247
Danielle (Villains)
Sandra (Villains)- W15 (106), W16 (121), Votes (-4), Win (137)= 360
JT (Heroes)
Tom (Heroes)
This Week= 607 Total= 2,199

Redwood Original

Boston Rob (Villains)
Parvati (Villains)- W15 (106), W16 (121), Immunity (20), Votes (-4)= 243
Colby (Heroes)- Vots (-16)= -16
Sugar (Heroes)
Candice (Heroes)
This Week= 227 Total= 1,627

DJ Roomba

Tyson (Villains)
Randy (Villains)
Jerri (Villains)- W15 (106), Votes (-12)= 94
Rupert (Heroes)
Amanda (Heroes)
This Week 94= 94 Total= 1,221

Kick Puncher III

Coach (Villains)
Courtney (Villains)
James (Heroes)
Stephenie (Heroes)
Cirie (Heroes)
Total= 164

Survivor Week 10- Powerful Parvati

Everyone should just sit back and be happy that JT's terrible move last week ended in fine fashion one episode later. He gave the only thing of value in this game to someone on the other team on the fact that he trusted him after shaking hands a few times. Thank you Russell (and mainly Parvati) for getting rid of him for this astronomically big mistake.

On this week's B.S. Report with Bill Simmons, he chatted with his buddy Dave Jacoby about reality tv. During their Survivor chat they agreed that the contestants know exactly who is going home about 90% of the time at tribal council. This was definitely one of those 10% occasions. Parvati had a good feeling it was going to be either Jerri or Sandra that the Heroes were voting out, so she gave each of them a hidden immunity idol. But why those two? What would make her pick those two to try and save?

We saw a couple of the Heroes mentioning that they'd like to pull the switcheroo on Jerri or Sandra, but this never got around to Parvati. All we saw was Parvati getting straight up lied to by Amanda. Of course Parvati saw right through her, but still didn't know what the Heroes actual plan was. Was she just guessing? Or did she have her reasons to believe they were gunning for one of the two old ladies? The end result seemed like a genius move by Parvati, but I wanna know how she came to that decision.

Fantasy Results

Punch Face Champions

Russell (Villains)- W10 (46)= 46
Danielle (Villains)- W10 (46), Im (20)= 66
Sandra (Villains)- W10 (46)= 46
JT (Heroes)- Votes (-20)= -20
Tom (Heroes)
Week 10= 138 Total= 863

Redwood Original

Boston Rob (Villains)
Parvati (Villains)- W10 (46), Idol use (20), Idol misuse (-10)= 56
Colby (Heroes)- W10 (46)= 46
Sugar (Heroes)
Candice (Heroes)- W10 (46)= 46
Week 10= 148 Total= 744

DJ Roomba

Tyson (Villains)
Randy (Villains)
Jerri (Villains)- W10 (46), Votes (-20)= 26
Rupert (Heroes)- W10 (46)= 46
Amanda (Heroes)- W10 (46)= 46
Week 10= 118 Total= 661

Kick Puncher III

Coach (Villains)
Courtney (Villains)
James (Heroes)
Stephenie (Heroes)
Cirie (Heroes)
Total= 164

Survivor Week 9- Take My Idol, Please

Russell Hantz- "Now I don't even have to find idols...People are actually giving me idols."

Was this entire episode just a dream? Or did I witness the most ridiculous move in the history of mankind? You're a member of the Heroes tribe. If you win the final immunity challenge you go into the merge at an even five to five against the Villains. Instead of taking your chances against what you think is an "all girl alliance" of five, you hand over the most coveted commodity on Survivor? Yes JT's plan, which was eventually enacted with only one slight questioning by Amanda, was to give Russell his hidden immunity idol so that he could save himself and join forces with the Heroes after the merge.

"Granted I get a chance to talk to Russell at the next immunity challenge and we win...I give him the hidden immunity idol, he votes out Parvati- Bam!- Done."

What?!? First of all the guy admitted the biggest problem with this plan. He's guessing as to what is going on inside the Villains tribe. Of course we know that his guess is completely wrong. You're guessing on the situation! You have maybe 10 minutes of contact per day with the opposing tribe and you think you can get a feel on what is going on? I thought you guys played this game before. Well when you have a guy like JT in charge, a guy who didn't do any game play his first time on Survivor, you are gonna be in trouble.

"We're gonna make Survivor history with this one today guys," JT said. Well you're right brotha. You're making history as one of the worst moves of all time. As Parvati so succinctly put it, "You don't hand the enemy idols." What you do with hidden immunity idols is what Parvati did with her new found one. You keep them hidden.

Unlike JT who gave his away, and Russell who once again showed the whole tribe his shiny new toy, Parvati used a strategy closest to what I think should be done. She showed only one person her hidden immunity idol clue and later on the idol itself. She showed Danielle and kept it a secret so that she can create a strong bond with her and only her. If you tell the whole world, then you lose that bond and have less trust with your idol buddy. Good work Parvati. What do I know? She'll probably get eliminated for it soon.

Fantasy Results

Punch Face Champions

Russell (Villains)- W9 (37), Merge (8)= 45
Danielle (Villains)- W9 (37), Reward (4), Merge (8)= 49
Sandra (Villains)- W9 (37), Reward (4), Merge (8)= 49
JT (Heroes)- W9 (37), Im (8), Merge (8)= 53
Tom (Heroes)
Week 9= 196 Total= 725

Redwood Original

Boston Rob (Villains)
Parvati (Villains)- W9 (37), Reward (4), Merge (8), Idol (10)= 59
Colby (Heroes)- W9 (37), Im (8), Merge (8)= 53
Sugar (Heroes)
Candice (Heroes)- W9 (37), Im (8), Merge (8)= 53
Week 9= 165 Total= 596

DJ Roomba

Tyson (Villains)
Randy (Villains)
Jerri (Villains)- W9 (37), Reward (4), Votes (-4), Merge (8)= 45
Rupert (Heroes)- W9 (37), Im (8), Merge (8)= 53
Amanda (Heroes)- W9 (37), Im (8), Merge (8)= 53
Week 9= 151 Total= 543

Kick Puncher III

Coach (Villains)
Courtney (Villains)- Reward (4), Votes (-20)= -16
James (Heroes)
Stephenie (Heroes)
Cirie (Heroes)
Week 9= -16 Total= 164