So late last year as I was gearing up for graduation, Lochness was deciding to end his collegiate basketball career early. A junior this year he made the choice to quit Brewers basketball so that he could have the time to enjoy other endeavors. Now you and I both know that this meant that he needed more time to finish off the IMDB Top 250. Eight of his top ten characters come from top 250 movies. His television watching has certainly not increased from what I can tell over the past half a year. Anytime I ask the Locksmith about Lost or Office he has no idea what I'm talking about. This is a dude who truly wishes he was on the up and up in the television world, but fails miserably.
Lochness's Top Ten
10. Dr. Strangelove- Peter Sellers- Dr. Strangelove
9. Sam Spade- Humphrey Bogart- Maltese Falcon
8. Bernard Campbell- Vince Vaughn- Old School
7. Teddy KGB- John Malkovich- Rounders
6. Sanjuro Kuwabatake- Toshiro Mifune- Yojimbo
5. Maximus- Russell Crowe- Gladiator
4. Terry Malloy- Marlon Brando- On the Waterfront 3. Johnny Clay- Sterling Hayden- The Killing
2. Jesus Quintana- John Turturro- The Big Lebowski
1. Verbal Kint (left)- Kevin Spacey- Usual Suspects
50. Dewey Finn- Jack Black- The School of Rock Dewey: “I pledge allegiance... to the band... of Mr. Schneebly... and will not fight him... for creative control... and will defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the band.”
49. Kale Brecht- Shia LaBeouf- Disturbia Julie: “Clean up your room, and clean up the kitchen.” Kale: “Yeah, I'll do that. Let me just check my schedule.”
48. Mike McDermott- Matt Damon- Rounders Mike: “Few players recall big pots they have won — strange as it seems — but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.”
47. Jeremy Grey- Vince Vaughn- Wedding Crashers Jeremy: “I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?”
46. Press Maravich- Nick Benedict- Pistol: The Birth of a Legend Press: [after completing the drill] “You thought you could do it, I knew I could, confidence.”
45. Bill Bowerman- R. Lee Ermy- Prefontaine Bowerman: “Quite an impressive performance.” Pre: “I just ran my race.” Bowerman: “I was talking about the way you ran your mouth.”
44. Coach Bud Kilmer- Jon Voight- Varsity Blues Coach Kilmer: “Oh, Big Billy Bob Crybaby!? You cost me my perfect season. How’s it feel? My quarterback is off limping, and to top it off I got watch you cry about it?”
43. Norman Dale- Gene Hackman- Hoosiers Coach Dale: “You know, in the ten years that I coached, I never met anybody who wanted to win as badly as I did. I'd do anything I had to do to increase my advantage. Anybody who tried to block the pursuit of that advantage, I'd just push 'em out of the way. Didn't matter who they were, or what they were doing. But that was then. You have special talent, a gift. Not the school's, not the townspeople, not the team's, not Myra Fleener's, not mine. It's yours, to do with what you choose. Because that's what I believe, I can tell you this: I don't care if you play on the team or not.”
42. John Q. Archibald- Denzel Washington- John Q John Q: “He’s a good kid. You’d like him. You’d like him doc, if you got to know him.”
41. Kevin Franklin- Sinbad- Houseguest Mr. Pike: “Slap me five there, brother!” Kevin: “How about I just slap you?”
70. Jack Campbell- Nicolas Cage- Family Man Jack: “Let's go to all the stores...all the stores in this God forsaken shopping mall.”
69. Joe Fox- Tom Hanks- You've Got Mail Joe: “Don't cry, shop girl.”
68. Jamal Jeffries/Juwanna Mann- Miguel A. Nunez- Juwanna Mann Juwanna: “Can't help it. Born with it.”
67. Walter Burns- Cary Grant- His Girl Friday Walter: “Diabetes! I ought to know better than to hire anybody with a disease.”
66. Gary Young- Phil Hartman- Houseguest Gary: “Jason, how many times have I told you to pick that damn thing up? A lot, I think. Probably several, maybe.”
65. Rupert 'Stiles' Stilinski- Jerry Levine- Teen Wolf Stiles: “Whoahhh! Help me Rhonda!”
64. Ernest P. Worrell- Jim Varney- Ernest Goes to Jail Ernest: “Did you hear the one about the three legged dog that walked into a bar and said, 'I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw'.”
63. Rico- Danny McBride- Hot Rod Rico: [putting on stolen hat] “This is my hat now! This is totally my hat!”
62. Toy Santa- Tim Allen- The Santa Clause 2 Toy Santa: “I'm in charge here!”
61. Les 'Worm' Murphy- Edward Norton- Rounders Worm: “I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f-in' rake.” Mike: “What the f- are you talkin' about. What saying?” Worm: “I-I don't know. There ought to be one though.”
